SQUIRREL!!!

As you may have guessed by the title, this post is about a squirrel. A cute, fuzzy, baby squirrel. That jumped on me while I was sleeping. The incident happened kind of like this…

This is what actually landed on Dixie and I.

 

This is what I thought landed on us.

 

And this is actual video of what I looked like.

Dixie was thrown on the floor unhurt. I think she was more shocked than I was. Did I mention she weighs 70 lbs? I may have been a little scared.

Once I regained my composure and realized what was going on, I hit the internet. I’m not a fan of squirrels but I didn’t want to hurt it either. There’s lots of “helpful” information on the internet. One suggested I build a plywood highway to an open window, leave the room and lock it for a couple of hours and eventually the squirrel would realize it was safe to leave. Unless you had food in the room in which case the squirrel would become your new roomie. Internet fail :p

So I decided to block the squirrel into the corner with a box and the cat carrier. But first I had to prepare for battle. Winter jacket, winter gloves and hockey helmet with wire face grill. I felt like this, minus the sword of course.

 

In reality I looked more like this.

I used a cheap wooden back scratcher and was able to poke the squirrel into the cat carrier and brought him out to the backyard.

I figure if he’s foolish enough to come back inside my house then he should probably get the Darwin award.

Unless he comes back with the Squirrel army!

Maybe I’ll just stay in my house forever. Oh poop! I’m not safe inside either! I guess I am moving to Antarctica.